Lyn's Life; Take 2: 225...Well Let's Be Honest...227!

Lyn's Life; Take 2: 225...Well Let's Be Honest...227!: She didn't!  Oh yes, I did!  I'm putting it all out there for God and everyone to see!  Yesterday, June 1st I stepped on a scale and...

225...Well Let's Be Honest...227!

She didn't!  Oh yes, I did!  I'm putting it all out there for God and everyone to see!  Yesterday, June 1st I stepped on a scale and after looking twice to see if I had mistook the numbers it revealed 227 pounds!

I then stripped down to the necessities and stepped back on hoping against all odds that somehow a t-shirt and shorts weighed 20 pounds but alas it only shaved off only 2 pounds!

You maybe asking yourself why is she being so bold (or stupid)?  The short answer is, I'm tired.

I'm tired of being ashamed, embarrassed about how I look. Tired of being alone, tired of struggling up three flights of stairs to get home every day,   I'm also tired of trying to get into shape on my own.  By putting this on my blog I thought I would enlist all of you out there to help me to be accountable!

I have made avoiding mirrors and getting my picture taken into a hobby!  When I do see myself in a mirror or picture I am appalled.  I don't recognize myself!  I don't think I look that bad, that is until I see myself.  Without sounding too conceited when I was younger I spent a lot of time looking the mirror and looking for a reason to have my picture taken.  I was pretty, not gorgeous but definitely not what I look like now.

I have an idea of what I am looking for in a partner in life but they definitely wouldn't want to take on what I have to offer at the moment.  Continuing on my shallowness, currently I would attract what I am putting out which is not what I would be looking for, it's not something I'm proud of but it is how I feel!


Each time I start a weight loss struggle I think "This is it!  I feel it, this time I will be successful!"  Seriously, this time I KNOW I will succeed!  How is it different from all my other attempts?  This time it is a lifestyle change, not a diet.  It's a commitment to myself, I have also realized that this is something that I need the Lord's help in order to succeed. Through Him all things are possible and I KNOW that He is with me and wants me to be triumphant on this latest journey.

I've started walking, I'm looking for additional exercise opportunities,  I signed up for telephone coaching regarding nutrition & fitness and I'm improving my food choices.  I am going to start including in my daily prayers that God instills in me the desire to make good choices regarding food and exercise.

Food, laziness and self indulgence are my sins.  They are like a warm security blanket that I wrap myself up in.  I've grown accustom to their destructive warmth and security.

Even though you know it is bad for you a person will go back to what is familiar, we take comfort in it, we know what the outcome will be with this familiar yet destructive behavior.  Doing the opposite is way too scary.  It is cold, dark, unpredictable and the probability of failure is high in this new territory.

I'm still terrified but I will be praying for God to light my new path brightly, surround me with encouragement, strength, courage and will power.  Soon what was cold, dark & unpredictable will become my new warm security blanket.  It will become my new 'normal'.

I'll keep you posted monthly on my progress.  I would appreciate your prayers (& or positive thoughts) regarding my new journey and if there is a way that I could help you in your endeavors please let me know, we are all in this 'life' together and we are here to help one another.

Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I.

L

To Speak or To Stay Silent?

Two weeks ago I posted something on my FB page then 20 minutes later I deleted the posting.


In the news lately there is a huge issue that is on the front page of newspapers and the lead story on every local newscast.  The issue is a touchy one for some people.  In the past, this issue was one where I thought if people wanted to live that way that they should be encouraged to do so.  I was swept along with the rest of the country thinking that this is acceptable and encouraged it.

During the past two years I have been evolving spiritually, studying the Bible and expanding my knowledge of scripture.  Up until a few a months ago I was sitting on the fence on an issue that is of growing concern in this country.  I thought that if I came down on the wrong side that I would be condemning one side over the other.  It wasn't until I had a heartfelt discussion with a person I truly respect and then reflected on my life as a Christ follower that I came to an understanding that though uncomfortable as it is to go against the popular vote that I needed to follow my faith.  It still makes me very uncomfortable because I know that I may lose the friendship and respect of many people I know and love.

Now that I am done dancing around the subject I am talking about the recent debate and voting by our state government regarding same sex marriage.

I am not a cold hearted or self righteous person, I believe and encourage others to find love but I am a person that is a Christian, a follower of Christ.  In being a Christ follower I am bound by God's word, the Bible.  In the Bible it states that homosexuality is a sin, just like adultery, coveting, worshiping other gods & murder are sins.  As a human race we are all sinners, I know I sin everyday and I will continue to do so until the day I die, but I also truly believe that God loves me no matter what I say or do.

I don't condemn anyone for what they say, do or believe in and I hope that no one would condemn me for my thoughts, words or beliefs.

Why bring it up at all?  What's the big deal?  Just sit down and be quiet!  Can't you just go along with flow?  Trust me those thoughts are running through my head as I am writing this posting!  The reason I'm bringing it up is because by going along with the popular opinion it is going against God and His Word but it's not popular to stand up and go against whats popular.  No one seems to be saying anything against same sex marriage so I thought it was time for someone to say something.  It isn't a point of going to heaven or hell but it is a point of following God or being disobedient.

Am I right?  Am I wrong? Should I even being putting this out there for everyone to see?   I don't know, I just know that if I am to follow Christ that I need to follow the Bible.  It is obvious that this is an issue that is not going to be quieted any time soon but I hope that in this process that more people allow the dialog to continue.  Through discussing it is where we all can learn. 

Though I am a Christian I had a moment of weakness weeks ago as I stated at the beginning of the post that I posted my opinion on my Facebook page but then I quickly deleted it.  I was afraid of hurting friends and family, I didn't want them to be angry with me or heaven forbid I didn't want them to de-friend me.  After I hastily deleted the posting I felt better but as the day went on I felt that I betrayed someone far more important to me than those I was worried about hurting and that made me feel like a hypocrite.  I'm not posting this so that I can add a check mark in the positive column in St Peter's book but I am doing it because it is something I believe in.  I'm not passing judgement on anyone, that is not my job, I try to love everyone and to testify to everyone the great love that God has for them.

God loves each and every person, He has made us all, He knows us all because He created us all.

If I have offended anyone I didn't intend to do so, I just meant to stand up and voice what was weighing on my heart.

Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I.

L

A Good Life?

How do you know when or if you have lived a good life?

Last week I was down in Florida with my sister, we were helping our Dad get ready to move into an assisted living facility.

It was definitely challenging but we accomplished a lot during our stay.  As we were getting to the end of boxing things up Dad began to reminisce more.  I'm sure as his life was unfolding it didn't occur to him that the events will keep adding up and adding to his story.


He joined the Navy right after the US declared war on Japan.  I'm sure it was an interesting experience joining the Navy since he had never seen the ocean his entire life!

After the Navy, he married my Mom, took up upholstery as a trade, built a house by himself, well technically he built two houses, the first house he, my Mom & my oldest sister lived in while he was building 'big' house, the first house then became our garage!  He had three daughters. As a family we traveled the country and camped out in our pop up camper.   Eventually he went from being an upholsterer to working as an airline mechanic at Northwest Airlines.

Working for NWA afforded us the luxury of traveling via airplane which was exciting, to make me sound old, traveling back then was more glamorous than it is now.  Heated towels, free meals & drinks, you dressed up to fly and of course there were no security checks!

He was lucky to fall in love twice and be married to two wonderful women.  With the second marriage he gained a loving stepson & daughter in law, two awesome grandsons and a talented stepdaughter.  When he retired he and his second wife moved to Florida and lived his dream, which was to never have to shovel snow and be able to play golf daily.  In Florida my parents had the time of their lives, they made wonderful friends, traveled and entertained endlessly.

Even after the death of his second wife, Dad was blessed enough to meet a woman whose friendship has been a life saver the past several years.

With this new chapter in his life I know that his story is far from over even though he might think it is over.

So, how do you know when or if you have lived a good life?  I guess you don't, or maybe you do but it is only when you hear others describe your life can you sit back and say "D***n I guess I did pretty well!"

I don't know about you but I have my fingers crossed, in hopes that my life will be mildly interesting!

Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I.

L
 

Pinterest & Dreaming

Am I the only one that questions if Pinetrest is created by Satan?

I love it but I also hate it.  Once you get on Pinetrest you are guaranteed you will spend at least an hour if not more looking and pinning until you have a huge case of carpal tunnel!

I love all the great information that is on it.  I've made my own laundry & dish washer soap not to mention pinning great decorating, crafts and wedding ideas.  I also find Pinterest depressing, pictures of places that look so beautiful but they are places that I will never get to.  I know that is my take on it, I mean how many pictures of fairies, elephants, swans, ballet dancers etc... do I need?

At some point don't we need to stop pinning and start working on making some of our dreams, electric or clipped out of a magazine come true?

I dragged out my dream boards that I had made several years ago and propped them up in my bedroom in hopes of rekindling those desires.

I've always been cautious about dreaming, I find it very hard to dream or hope.  There was a time when I was young where I had hopes and dreams but then I guess I grew up and life happened and I put those hopes and dreams away.  It is just recently I decided to start thinking about trying to dream about what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Right now I'm looking forward to getting my bike up and running this Spring.  For those of you that know me, I am, well, I'm a whole lot of woman.  I am working on improving myself and one of those ways is getting more exercise.

I also have hopes of going back to school, I have found a college program that I am very interested in.  After I get back from a family obligation I am going to make an appointment to look into signing up for the Fall.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!  Keep checking back for updates.

Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I!

L 

I AM BACK!

I am back!  Things have settled down and my desire to write has grown.  I started this blog as a way to say what I wanted to say when I wanted to say it but unfortunately shortly after I started I began to worry about being topical, interesting humorous, and most importantly popular.  I managed to suck all the fun out the reason I started.  Now that I realize this I hope that I will be posting often about things that are on my mind.  If it happens to strike a cord with someone it would be great but it is not my major motivating factor.

For I while I may retrace what has been transpiring for the last three months.  If for no other reason just to help me to realize what has been going on and so I can see the progression of my life.

It's hard for me to realize that it has been four months!  There are times it seems like just yesterday I made a posting and other days it seems like it has been years!

There has been quite a bit of family drama, it has been going on know for over a year but I think we are close to that simmering down.  I should never make any declaration one way or another just because whenever I do it seems to turn the exact opposite that I said it would!  That's life though isn't it?  Just when you think you have it all figured out it takes a sharp right turn.

My grandson Aiden, is SEVEN MONTHS OLD!  He is so incredible, he is such a happy little guy.  It is a great testimony to his loving mother, she has had the good fortune to spend the last seven months being with him full time.  She has wanted to work but it wasn't possible until just recently. 

I've made great progress and have graduated from therapy!  Yes, I am admitting I went to therapy for emotional help.  I think everyone should go if they feel they need to go.  I started going because I had no one to talk to and life was too overwhelming for me.  I had the good fortune of coming across two therapists who were able to navigate me through the difficult times.  If it wasn't for them I truly don't know what would have happened to me.

In addition to therapy my growing spirituality  has truly saved my life.  My growing relationship with God will be part of my blog in the future.  I am comfortable with my spirituality and it is very important to me.

I will be having posting about spiritual thoughts again when they occur to me.

Well there we go, my first posting in a very long time.  It feels great to be writing again.

Remember, God loves you and so do I.

L   

Reward or Punishment?

I had an interesting epiphany last week, it occurred to me that in all the years I have been 'rewarding' myself  with desserts and take out food in reality I have been punishing myself.

I have 'rewarded' myself into being over 200 lbs!  God continues to bless me so much so that I don't  need to eat out as much as I do.  For those of you that are not overly religious I know this may seem like n odd thing to say but the Lord is enough for me.  I have been trying to fill myself up with food of all kinds but in reality I really want is love and acceptance, two things that God gives me every moment of every day.  I just didn't realize it until now.

Don't get me wrong there are and will continue to be those days where I feel I REALLY NEED a muffin, a Whopper or a Pepsi and I will relent but I am hopeful that those days will come less and less often.

This journey I am on is very interesting, I learning so much.  Some things are interesting, some embarrassing and all are enlightening.  It's not that I think there is a lot wrong with myself but it's my opinion a person should always be striving to be better.  Life is so short and I want to be able to look back and say I tried.  I tried to help others, I tried to be a better mother, wife, friend, worker, Christian, neighbor, citizen.  I hope that it doesn't sound arrogant because I genuinely don't feel that way, I just want to be the best person I can be. 

Life to me is so exciting, there are so many people out there, so many opportunities to impact someone.  It could be in big way or at times a small way.  If you think about what would make you smile it probably would do the same for someone else.  After all, all any of us want is to be noticed, acknowledged and that can be accomplished so easily.  Sometimes we seem to forget that though we may feel alone at times we are so far from being alone.  There are billions of others who feel the same way you do.

Take care to notice those around you and let them know how important they are  to you and to others.

Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I.

L